


Three

by LaBelleetlaloup



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: M/M, POV Stiles, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2015-10-19
Packaged: 2018-04-27 03:26:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5031961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaBelleetlaloup/pseuds/LaBelleetlaloup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a Tumblr post: Derek gets a concussion. Stiles gets a little more information than he bargained for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three

**Author's Note:**

> http://labelleetlaloup.tumblr.com/post/131362929483/berry-muffin-in-which-derek-has-a-concussion-as

I did not ask for this, was all Stiles could think, staring at Derek and feeling his brain slowly implode.

There had been a fight. Derek had cracked his skull open on an inconvenient tree. He possibly had a concussion. So Stiles asked him how many fingers he was holding up.

He didn’t answer that question.

“Three with some lube,” was his answer. Everything went very silent. Stiles clapped a hand over his mouth.

“Good god, Derek,” Peter muttered. Peter moved over and crouched in front of his nephew. “So… Now that you’ve told your personal business to the entire pack, I think it’s safe to assume you do have a concussion. How many eyes do I have?” Derek’s face was washed in blue light.

“Uh…” Derek blinked and squinted. “Too many? Supposed to be two. Is that…?” He reached out, hand stretching out a good foot to the left of Peter’s head. Stiles covered his eyes as well.

“Yes, Derek, you should be seeing two,” Peter agreed. “Alright, I’ll carry you home.” There was a pause. “Someone grab Stiles. I think Derek broke him.”

Someone put a hand on Stiles’ shoulder. Stiles let them lead him away.

“Scott?” he mumbled behind his hand.

“Yeah, buddy, it’s me,” Scott agreed. “Come on.” Stiles followed Scott’s pushing obediently, one hand on his mouth and the other over his eyes. There was the silence of footfalls in the forest as they walked back towards the cars.

“What happened?” Chris asked. Apparently he had showed up at some point. There was another awkward pause. Maybe Peter had carted Derek off in a different direction? Stiles couldn’t make himself peek.

“Derek has a concussion,” Lydia explained. “Stiles is apparently a little prudish or something.” Stiles made loud protesting noises behind his hand.

“Oh god,” Chris, at least, sounded as horrified as Stiles had been. “Stiles, what did he do?” Stiles made a soft noise. A finger pulled Stiles’ hand down from his eyes. It was Chris. “Stiles?”

“I asked him how many fingers…” Stiles was mumbling behind his hand.

“Stiles held up two fingers and asked him how many fingers he was holding up,” Scott translated. Chris went very pale.

“Come on, come with me,” Chris muttered, quickly steering Stiles through the woods. They soon arrived at the car and Chris bundled Stiles into the passenger seat and took off without waiting for anyone else to catch up. “Okay, scream.” What? “Probably better to get it out before your father hears you and makes unfortunate assumptions?” Oh, yes. Stiles made an embarrassing noise. Chris hummed along to some song, ignoring him.

“I’m just… And he… I did not ask for that! …dude just…” Stiles could barely get a full phrase out. He took a deep breath. It helped. “Like I did not need to know how many fingers dude can take up his ass!” Chris’ expression got a little pinched but he just nodded. “I was trying to be a good citizen. I ask the idiot who cracked open his skull and is bleeding how many fingers I am holding out-standard concussion procedure. I am trying to be a decent person. But no! No! No good deed ever goes unpunished! I get to find out all sorts of information I did not ever need to know. And Lydia’s over there acting like I’m being some kind of stuck up because my brain has literally just run out my ears…”

“Please don’t tell me about all the fantasies that ran through your mind.” Chris sounded physically pained.

“I’m a decent fucking person,” Stiles grumbled back. “Oh my god… Why? Why did this have to happen to me? I want a do-over!”

“Shouldn’t find those sorts of things out in front of the entire group,” Chris agreed. “That should be private, at least the first time.”

“Right?!” Stiles exclaimed, flailing his arms around. “Like, I get that Derek is moving at a fucking glacial pace but I’m pretty sure no one is under any misconceptions about me being his mate at this point. That should not have happened…”

“I don’t think your father’s noticed and, honestly, teenagers are a lot more oblivious than you might think.”

“But he’s so obvious!” Stiles protested. “Dad almost never sees the two of us in the same room and he’s admittedly still going on about kanimas every time I bring up the supernatural, so he gets a pass. But still!”

“Allison still hasn’t picked it up and judging from Lydia’s expression earlier, she hasn’t noticed either.”

“Lydia and I have been in school together since kindergarten. The only reason she knows my name is because I beat her GPA our first semester of freshman year and she had Danny hack the list to see who took the number one spot. So I guess that’s not terribly surprising. But Allison’s got perfectly functioning social skills. How could she possibly not know?”

“I don’t know. My sister knew practically within five minutes of being back in town.” Chris shrugged. “But Allison’s list for whose death would make Derek go feral was rather different than mine.”

“Was Scott on her list?” Stiles asked knowingly. Chris nodded.

“And you didn’t make the list at all. Apparently, he barely tolerates you.”

“Um, rather the opposite, unless Jennifer really fucked up her love spell last fall,” Stiles retorted bitterly. “Cause I’m sure it wasn’t my tears that broke it. Must have been Scott’s stubborn insistence that he was right.”

“Definitely,” Chris chuckled. “Head on straight?” he asked as he turned onto Stiles’ road.

“Yes, thanks. I really don’t need my dad going after Derek just because the dude had a concussion and misunderstood what I said.”

“No, Derek’s a good guy,” Chris agreed. “Got a fuckton more self-control about you than I ever did around Victoria.” Stiles chuckled softly.

“Well, I don’t think Victoria’s father was a Sheriff and I’m pretty sure that you didn’t have to worry about the age of consent.”

“That’s true,” Chris nodded. “Now, that should have killed them permanently but don’t drop your wards until we’ve double-checked tomorrow.”

“Yes, sirree,” Stiles saluted him sloppily and fell out of the car. “Thanks!”

“Stay out of trouble,” Chris replied.

“It’s not my fault trouble finds me,” Stiles protested. He managed to stumble inside and not immediately blurt out what Derek had said to his father as he reassured him he was in one piece. Stiles even got all the way upstairs and locked the bedroom door before his hand was in his pants.


End file.
